Hospital

I'm in hospital. Rules for going to hospital:

1) get surgery done early if you can. Don't wait twenty years like I did this time. You want to be young and fit so you recover faster. Also, nurses are cute. Really. I think that's better when you're young.

2) download as many movies as you can before you go in. I downloaded nine and watched them all in two days. I can't download movies on my mobile data connection. I don't have wifi at this hospital. I don't game. If you're a gamer then being in hospital will be just like not being in hospital but you get meals brought to your bed. I'm assuming that gamers lie around playing computer games all day. 

3) the best movie for watching in hospital turned out to be "Say Anything" which was a surprisingly good teen flick starring John Cusac circa 1988. The worst movie was "The Act of Killing", which was more distressing than surgery even though I only watched the first hour of three.

The rule here is that you want your movies to be light.

4) have surgery in Japan. I've had Surgery in Japan four times and it's always been great.

5) local anesthetic if possible. General knocks you around too much. I also hate the being knocked out cold and then waking up what seems like a second later and realizing you've probably just experienced close to exactly what death feels like and it didn't feel like anything at all. Also, your doctor can't shave your eyebrows if you are still awake.